Ep. 9 Sarah Riegelhuth
“Being human means we are definitely going to disappoint people. In those moments, either there's an opportunity to walk away because they're not your people or it’s a gateway for so much deeper connection”.
The Permission Podcast Series : Exploring what it means to give yourself permission to live life on your own terms.
Today I'm speaking with Sarah Riegelhuth. We actually connected just a few short weeks ago (a couple of months as of publishing this podcast) when I responded to a call that she put out for guests for her new 'In My Truth' podcast (see my interview here).
We had a deep and rich conversation and I also invited her on to my podcast so we could continue that discussion in the vein of 'permission' and how that shows up for her.
We dive deep in so many areas. Covering things like...
Just because we're not lying doesn't mean we're in our truth. How truth can show up in our body language and not just in the words we say. How by repressing and hiding things through protecting others or not wanting to hurt other people, that has such a big impact on our own growth, our own needs, and our own desires. What it means to repress those things, how that accumulates over time and what it looks like to have those deep and powerful conversations and ultimately how connection can come through those deep, powerful and often difficult conversations.
I look forward to you joining us for this conversation and I'd love to hear what comes up for you. If there are any insights that particularly resonate with you or anything that particularly triggers you. Please do share, but most of all enjoy this conversation.
Find more about Sarah’s work here: www.sarahriegelhuth.com
Listen below or via your favourite podcast platform…
Ep. 9 Sarah Riegelhuth
Show Notes:
Highlights that stood out for me as we talked…
How vulnerability can actually go super deep, super quick. When we do allow ourselves to go there, it feels like connection just opens up far easier.
We try to gain approval and acceptance when in actual fact, we're creating a wall of separation between ourselves and whoever it is that we're trying to show up for.
What is a lie? Is it a lie when I show up to a party, even though don't want to be there?
What if I just shared all the things that I feel, all the things that I experience and struggle with? What if I shared the story before I was comfortable with it?
I think there's a real difference between complaining and being in a negative mindset. There's a whole range, a whole spectrum and we've had such an influx of positive mindset and positive culture conditioning us not to be negative. "I've got to be positive all the time is denying half of who we are as human beings.
It can be just as inspirational to hear someone move through their struggle or to witness someone in their pain - that can be just as inspirational because it's real.
In the last 12 months i’ve starting to create, again, in an artistic context. Yet, I'm paralyzed. Once my pen hits the page, the mark is there and I won't be able to change it. To observe that was so profound for me - if I'm doing that over art that means nothing, how am I doing this in so many other areas of my life that do mean something?
I noticed that even in my journaling, it took me a while to not filter what I was writing in my journal that was just for me. Why am I like judging what I'm writing in my journal, which is my tool to process the challenges in my life?
I'm constantly curious about myself, but I feel like the way that we've (as a society) positioned 'knowing yourself' it is actually rigid. It's closed-minded. Who we are is always evolving. Every new experience, every new interaction is adding to who we are.
All of our troubles are because of the things we're too afraid to show other people (in reference to Radical Honesty - the book).
Sometimes we're not even in our truth as to why we exit situations, why we break things off because it's easy to just pin it on something and hightail it out..
Give yourself permission, even in business settings, to share all of who you are even the things that we don't necessarily see as a positive because people want to work with you because they know they know who you are. They are clear on who and what they're dealing with.
I've noticed in my journey as a leader, in my journey of running companies, this is the best team and culture I've ever had because we are bringing our whole selves and we're real. And we all know the different things that are going on with each other.
Permission is a practice. Start testing the waters on little things such as sharing my preferences, or not going to the thing I don't want to go to, or answering honestly, when someone says 'how are you?' Start with the little things and see what conversations open up because I think what we need when we start moving into a new way of living is evidence that it's going to be okay. Evidence that people will still love me.
Typically when we first meet someone, we connect over our sameness, we look for all these ways that we're all the same. And every time one of those things falls away and we find that piece of difference, it creates the fear that the entire relationship will crumble. The friendships that are the strongest are because I don't have to be anything different for them. And I think now I'm at the place where I want every relationship to be that even if I just met you.
Being human means we are definitely going to disappoint people. In those moments, either there's an opportunity to walk away because they're not your people or it’s a gateway for so much deeper connection.
Find out more and connect with Sarah:
Sarah isn't one thing but many. Professionally she's an entrepreneur, personally she's seeking truth, connection and understanding. Ever evolving, ever willing to look within and to face the hard stuff for insights, growth and learning.
Insta: @sarahriegelhuth
Facebook: www.facebook.com/sarahjaneriegelhuth
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