Ideas to stay connected in times of unexpected downtime

I was speaking with a new friend recently about ‘living in the moment’. As someone who is more tyoically an overthinker, it has been challenging to adopt this mindset but so necessary. My life as a digital nomad is full of uncertainty month to month and the best thing I can do is be present to the moments and opportunities that may present themselves.

This mindset has helped me so much in recent days.

I don't consume any news sources and have been using social media a lot less than I was so had felt largely unphased by the whole Coronavirus drama.

Yet with all my weekend plans being cancelled, my forthcoming housesit in Spain no longer going ahead and mass confusion surrounding the coming months, last night I could not help but be drawn into the energy and uncertain waters.

Yet this morning I woke up with creative energies surging through me.

Whilst there may be so much in life we can not control, we can always control our response to any situation, no many how tough it may seem and I know right now it feels hard for many.

Whilst right now we may be needing to create social distance, this does not mean we need to feel disconnected and fearful inside.

I see this as a time to connect in different ways.

To approach life with new perspectives.

To think outside the box.

To find new solutions.

And I find that incredibly exciting. A collective opportunity to shake ourselves out of the trance of daily living.

And it's not just this moment. We all have 'unexpected downtime' thrust upon us from time to time... whilst this time it may be the Coronavirus affecting society as a whole, at others times it could be a broken leg, a redundancy, an illness... things that force you to step back and change the course of your life temporarily.

We all have a wonderful innate capacity for creativity. We can use this opportunity to take ownership of life and not be victimised.

So I created a list to get you started. Ways to stay connected your yourself and those around you in times of unexpected downtime.

What would you add to this list?

I have also attached it as a PDF HERE… so you can download for yourself (no email required!)

P.s I am also organising Wellbeing Walks local to me at the RSPB Nature Reserve in Sandy both tomorrow (Monday 16th March) and Friday 20th at 11am if anyone who like to join me to take a mindful moment and a breather from the chaos. See the event link here and get in touch with me asap.

Sending much love to everyone affected by the current pandemic.

---

Ep. 9 Sarah Riegelhuth

“Being human means we are definitely going to disappoint people. In those moments, either there's an opportunity to walk away because they're not your people or it’s a gateway for so much deeper connection”.

The Permission Podcast Series : Exploring what it means to give yourself permission to live life on your own terms.

Today I'm speaking with Sarah Riegelhuth. We actually connected just a few short weeks ago (a couple of months as of publishing this podcast) when I responded to a call that she put out for guests for her new 'In My Truth' podcast (see my interview here).

We had a deep and rich conversation and I also invited her on to my podcast so we could continue that discussion in the vein of 'permission' and how that shows up for her.

We dive deep in so many areas. Covering things like...

Just because we're not lying doesn't mean we're in our truth. How truth can show up in our body language and not just in the words we say. How by repressing and hiding things through protecting others or not wanting to hurt other people, that has such a big impact on our own growth, our own needs, and our own desires. What it means to repress those things, how that accumulates over time and what it looks like to have those deep and powerful conversations and ultimately how connection can come through those deep, powerful and often difficult conversations.

I look forward to you joining us for this conversation and I'd love to hear what comes up for you. If there are any insights that particularly resonate with you or anything that particularly triggers you. Please do share, but most of all enjoy this conversation.

Find more about Sarah’s work here: www.sarahriegelhuth.com

Listen below or via your favourite podcast platform…

Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Stitcher

Music Credit

---

Ep. 9 Sarah Riegelhuth

Show Notes:
Highlights that stood out for me as we talked…

• How vulnerability can actually go super deep, super quick. When we do allow ourselves to go there, it feels like connection just opens up far easier.

• We try to gain approval and acceptance when in actual fact, we're creating a wall of separation between ourselves and whoever it is that we're trying to show up for.

• What is a lie? Is it a lie when I show up to a party, even though don't want to be there?

• What if I just shared all the things that I feel, all the things that I experience and struggle with? What if I shared the story before I was comfortable with it?

• I think there's a real difference between complaining and being in a negative mindset. There's a whole range, a whole spectrum and we've had such an influx of positive mindset and positive culture conditioning us not to be negative. "I've got to be positive all the time is denying half of who we are as human beings.

• It can be just as inspirational to hear someone move through their struggle or to witness someone in their pain - that can be just as inspirational because it's real.

• In the last 12 months i’ve starting to create, again, in an artistic context. Yet, I'm paralyzed. Once my pen hits the page, the mark is there and I won't be able to change it. To observe that was so profound for me - if I'm doing that over art that means nothing, how am I doing this in so many other areas of my life that do mean something?

• I noticed that even in my journaling, it took me a while to not filter what I was writing in my journal that was just for me. Why am I like judging what I'm writing in my journal, which is my tool to process the challenges in my life?

• I'm constantly curious about myself, but I feel like the way that we've (as a society) positioned 'knowing yourself' it is actually rigid. It's closed-minded. Who we are is always evolving. Every new experience, every new interaction is adding to who we are.

• All of our troubles are because of the things we're too afraid to show other people (in reference to Radical Honesty - the book).

• Sometimes we're not even in our truth as to why we exit situations, why we break things off because it's easy to just pin it on something and hightail it out..

• Give yourself permission, even in business settings, to share all of who you are even the things that we don't necessarily see as a positive because people want to work with you because they know they know who you are. They are clear on who and what they're dealing with.

• I've noticed in my journey as a leader, in my journey of running companies, this is the best team and culture I've ever had because we are bringing our whole selves and we're real. And we all know the different things that are going on with each other.

• Permission is a practice. Start testing the waters on little things such as sharing my preferences, or not going to the thing I don't want to go to, or answering honestly, when someone says 'how are you?' Start with the little things and see what conversations open up because I think what we need when we start moving into a new way of living is evidence that it's going to be okay. Evidence that people will still love me.

• Typically when we first meet someone, we connect over our sameness, we look for all these ways that we're all the same. And every time one of those things falls away and we find that piece of difference, it creates the fear that the entire relationship will crumble. The friendships that are the strongest are because I don't have to be anything different for them. And I think now I'm at the place where I want every relationship to be that even if I just met you.

• Being human means we are definitely going to disappoint people. In those moments, either there's an opportunity to walk away because they're not your people or it’s a gateway for so much deeper connection.

Find out more and connect with Sarah:

Sarah isn't one thing but many. Professionally she's an entrepreneur, personally she's seeking truth, connection and understanding. Ever evolving, ever willing to look within and to face the hard stuff for insights, growth and learning.

Insta: @sarahriegelhuth

Facebook: www.facebook.com/sarahjaneriegelhuth

---

---

2017 close out: my biggest lesson (and my New Year intention!)

I hadn't planned to write a 'year in review' style post, as everyone else in the blogosphere had written them and to be honest I felt a bit overloaded with a case of comparisonitis creeping up on me in the lead up to Christmas.

But, now having had a few more days to sit and quietly reflect, a few truths made themselves know and it was a humbling process of self-acknowledgement that I wanted to share with you in the spirit of authenticity and as offering you a 'permission giving' of sorts. 

It's 30th December and just over halfway through that 'odd' bit between Christmas and New Year when there is no sense of routine, time or direction. Time seems to stand still. Truth be told (apart from Christmas day) this is my absolute favourite time of year! The world slows down and time is suspended.

Space for reflection, creation, decluttering, reading and absolutely zero sense of expectation or obligation. Bliss!

So, it is pretty much inevitable that my minds bounced between looking back on the year whilst at the same time future focussing on the next.

There was one main truth that hit me. Quite hard at first, but then with a sense of gentle self-forgiveness and understanding. 

My biggest reaslisation this year...

I have been very lonely at times.

Gosh, it feels super vulnerable to admit that. I feel I need to back it up with an explanation, to justify it and make it seem less pathetic. 

The loneliness was a steady creep throughout the year hitting hardest this Autumn though I only realised it retrospectively! (often the way, right?)

When I reflected on how this came to be I realised there were two big contributing factors:

1. At the end of 2016 I gave myself permission to step away from going to local networking groups and events that I felt I 'should' be doing as a business owner and instead focus on growing my business in other ways. I had noticed I was getting 'people-out' and drained from small talk (I've always hated small talk) so I just stopped going, BUT what I didn't realise was that, as a result, I was then spending a lot more time on my own in my own head where overthinking tends to happen!

2. For four years I had been having weekly sessions with a Personal Trainer who was also one of my best friends. The sessions were at a regular time and outside. At the end of July he moved away and so suddenly I lost my time spent with a good friend, structured exercise, a weekly anchor point and time outside in nature come rain or shine... massively significant! (although I had not appreciated just how much until very recently)

What have a learned?

That small subtle consistent things can have a massive impact over time- both positive and negative.  

Just like structured consistent training with a PT can steadily increase your strength and fitness, the cumulative effect of not socialising on a structured consistent basis (which is basically what happened) can massively impact your emotional stability.

It was a massive eye-opener for me! The good news is, that now I have recognised what went wrong I can implement changes to address the balance for the coming year.

Instead of a New Year's resolution I set an 'intention' that I seek to grow into over the course of the year. This allows space for play and exploration and for messing up and learning in a way that a resolution doesn't (for me anyway!)

My intention is summarised in a word... a word for the year that has deep meaning for me and a need to explore more.

In 2016 it was 'experiences' (I travelled a lot and thoroughly lived out that intention)

In 2017 it was 'consistency', something I have struggled with. This does not come naturally at all for me- my ADHD brain sabotages feeling pigeonholed and so it is still a work in progress!

In 2018 my word for the year will be: 'Connection'.

Connection within myself and with others. I will seek to deepen the nature of my connections but also my boundaries in order to stay true and authentic to myself. 

I'm excited to explore where this may lead and what 'connection' might look like on my own terms!

There are plenty other things I could say about the year and about my goals for 2018 as I reflected on what had gone well and what not so well. But my most important lesson was our innate need for human connection that I had been depriving myself of without realising and so I won't dilute this significance with other side notes and thoughts.

It makes me smile as I have long been a fan of Brene Brown. I have all five of her books (having received the last two for Christmas) and a big part of her work is the role of connection. Therefore finding her quote “We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives and without it there is suffering” brought it all full circle for me, and I enter 2018 with a new level of clarity.

Now, I'd love to hear from you, what was your biggest lesson of 2017 and what is your goal or intention to take forward into 2018?  

---